Diane and Surinder

Surinder and Diane

Surinder
I was born in India and we from Palahi in the Punjab region to England in 1976. My dad had emigrated in 1971 just before I was born. We came into Handsworth and dad had already secured a house for us. I’m like a gipsy really, we have moved all over. I got married when I was 19 and we went to Cradley Heath. Then we came back to Oldbury, then bought the first property Smethwick on, and then we bought a property here in 2004. When I first came here they thought I was a snob and that I wasn't going to last here. They thought I was a right snotty cow!

Diane
And I was born in Lurgan in County Armagh, in Northern Ireland. I grew up in a place called Annaghmore. Then we moved to the village of Moy in Country Tyrone, where my mother comes from, and I lived there until I was 17. My mum told me a few weeks ago that when my dad was in the Royal Navy he was stationed up in Londonderry. When the queen got crowned She did a tour he was a guard of honour for her on her visit to Londonderry. Mum says she always has a look when they show the clip of her visit to see if she can see my dad. I met a soldier who was serving over there, and I ended up in Oakham, and I'm still here. So I've been living opposite Surinder for the last 20 years.

Surinder 
We have the post office and now we've leased it out. So I actually retired in May last year. I thought I was going to be retired and a ‘Lady of Leisure’. But I think I'm busier now than ever. Diane and I decided we needed to open up the over 50s club again. The library wasn't open where it would usually meet, but we made the decision anyway.

Diane 
We founded the Oakham Community Club. We had meetings with the local community, and met with Sandwell Council and their Community Development Officers. We formed a constitution, we got a committee in place. We share the role of chairman and we have a good team. We opened last October, we invited the police and the local councillors. It was a big turnout as the community really needed it. The community is behind it all, we want to bring the community back together again. Covid affected our community massively. Our One Stop shop became a meeting hub for everyone, and I became a counsellor to everybody in a way.  And anybody that needs help, we try to help them. What helps makes a strong community is bringing people together and listening to what they've got to say. Actually listening, hearing what they say. We don't judge anybody. You listen to everything. You just have to be like the United Nations! Just keep out of it.

Surinder 
Originally I was behind the post office counter and then I came out onto the shop counter where people talk to you and share a lot more. Some of the stories people shared were very lovely and happy and some of them were just very sad. Literally in an hour, I would hear very good news, then very happy news, then hear sad news, and then in the next instance, I would hear devastating news. And it was like, “wow, I need to go and sit down now.” But I thought as I listened, “I can help put people together - I can put this with that person and I can put this person with that person, and so on.” I know a lot of the people that walk through the door. I’d never thought I'd be a sponge, but actually, I am.

We've always had a sense of community and doing things, and that you have to help.  There wasn't an option. You were taught from a very young age that you have to go and help. And I think that's what is in me. And when I see how sad some people are I thought that if I sent them this way or that way, well that might just help them.

Diane 
I was brought up in a small village in Northern Ireland which was all about community. And it still is. It's working together, it’s about helping each other. You hear good news and hear bad news and you all get through it together. I was a nurse in Sandwell until I did my back in. And I loved nursing. So now I can't physically do the nursing, but I can help people, I can talk to people. I like to say I went to the University of Life and there I learned a lot of stuff.

Everybody talks to me - on the bus, in the street, with complete strangers. I don't know who they are, and I can have a little conversation with them. And I was brought up very much like Surinder was, to help people. She said to me last week, “You're more of an Indian than an Indian!” I couldn't understand then what she meant. But then because I've been around her family so much I actually feel part of the family which is great. I now understand that the Irish and the Indian cultures are, in some ways, exactly the same. So now I can understand why she said that to me.

Surinder
We've got a lot to work to do yet.  We formed a club and we started with the over-fifties because we know how Covid was affecting that generation. I mean, they were literally grey from being indoors so long. They couldn’t communicate. We also want to involve the teenagers. We want to involve children. We want to involve mums. So we are trying to create a network through the church, the library, and all the local places. We need to pass something on to the next generation. And our culture is making them selfish. Everybody just seems to think about themselves, and we need to get them together and do things for others.

Diane
It’s really strange because during lockdown people were out doing everything like walking the people’s dogs, baking and cooking and cleaning. But now it's gone the other way. A crisis brings the best out in people and it can bring out the worst.

Surinder
And a lot of people are just sad now. A lot of people are just walking around and very sad about life. A lot of people just give up on life. Covid has had a bad effect on them, mental health-wise. I think when we access so much from a keyboard you can stay in and everything can come to your door and you don’t have to think about it.

Diane
We would like to encourage younger people to take more responsibility in their community. We’ve started this, but we want them to grow and develop themselves and then eventually they can take over from us and put things in place.